Welcome back, friends! I am going to continue, at last, having spent fifteen months of grad life, and awaiting no less than another fifty or so! As the bone-chilling winter is all set to grace College Station, with longer nights ruling over shorter days and the lazy clock no more interested in going fast by an hour, it feels just too mundane to step in sync with the usual flood of work. How about taking an unscheduled break, wondering what all happened since my arrival here last Fall, and trying a little to connect the dots?
How
would I describe my journey so far in one word? Exciting, I would probably say,
before my habit of getting terribly precise would step in and add – "well, on
an average!" Yes, there have been moments of anxiety, of frustration, of sadness
– in essence, of not so fun – leaving me exhausted, and they are, as for every
other human being, only a few of the many that are going to show up in the
coming years. However, these moments, in course of time, have turned into
elements of excitement, as they have made me not only learn some invaluable
lessons the hard way, but also appreciate and cherish the moments of real fun
as golden memories.
Having
decided to switch my major of study, it was a lot of struggle clearing the
courses required to take for the qualifier, and subsequently the qualifier
itself. It felt anything but nice when almost everyone was enjoying the
Thanksgiving holidays, while I was chasing a take-home Dynamics test like ‘now
or never’, as I had screwed up the previous homework and the previous test. It
was tough to self-teach the required undergraduate materials for all the three
papers I had for the qualifier. However, once I cleared all three in the first
attempt, it gave me enormous confidence to move ahead. It started as a
nightmare working in a research group where everyone else is an American, all
speaking in chaste American accents – with me having never tried to follow an English
movie without a subtitle. It was painful to miss a joke everyone else would
laugh at, or an important point in a discussion, and to fumble often while
voicing ideas. All eased with time. Eased similarly the problem of explaining
at restaurants what exactly I want to eat! My roommates had a very hard time teaching
me how to cook, but it paid off after a while. Most importantly, I 'think' I have
by now learnt the importance of time management, as I still stumble to finish
assignments, workouts, household chores, even getting ready for work on time – on
a more or less consistent basis!
However,
it will be unfair not to mention the few but very pleasant moments I have had
in the last fifteen months. It feels amazing to walk from my apartment to the
gym, particularly before the sun comes out, when the cadets march down the
empty roads and silence the silence with their chorus singing. It feels special
to watch the eastern horizon a little faded, while the western still dark, and while
returning, the first sunshine of the day blessing the earth. It feels wonderful
roaming around the vast campus and breathe amidst its quietness. When I get
tired working in the office, I stand by the window to watch the scattered clouds
above, the tall buildings nearby, and the groups of young Aggies walking and
biking on the streets. I love teaching, and it has been a special experience
mentoring the would-be teaching assistants. College Station, despite being a
small town, has a number of restaurants, and this is nothing but a blessing for
a voracious eater like me. It is great fun when my advisor tries to learn a few
Hindi words and Indian traits from me, or teaches me how to put my serious self
away for a while to enjoy colloquial moments. It fills my heart with great joy
when my near and dear ones back home love it when I call them, and when I
cannot resist the urge to call my old buddies to get to know how they are
doing. It is greatly satisfying to learn how I can use my introversion to make
everyone enjoy in social gatherings, how to treat people with compassion as
everyone is struggling in life in one form or the other, how to develop new
hobbies, and, above all, how to keep going amidst all hardships in life.
Grad
life, as I have seen it so far, is all about learning, reminding us every now
and then that learning has no end. In one of the orientations, a speaker said, “When
in grad school, you are not the smartest person out there; can your ego handle
that? Think!” There are situations – may be academic, personal or social – that
require us to go beyond our comfort zones, sometimes to respond, trusting only gut
instincts. We begin – exploring ourselves, accepting and respecting people for
who they are, and most importantly, finding the purpose of life.
